would God please turn off the tap...

No more rain ...please stop. It's Christmas for crying out loud

Pouring rain for a few minutes - refreshing
Pouring rain for a day - an excuse to stay in bed and watch movies
Pouring rain for a week - painful
Pouring rain for several weeks - pretty f***n depressing

What to do while the world drowns?
1. take photos of stuff around you that has some sort of meaning to it

2. Read Vagabond and look up the front page photographer:

    Raphael Nguyen - check him out, he's brilliant

http://raphaelnguyen.com/

No title

I woke up thinking it was Sunday then realising it's only Friday...
So instead of reading the Sunday paper I organised my e-mail inbox. The result being that I probably deleted emails that I most certainly will be searching for in a few months..that always happens.
I might have been exaggerating a tiny bit about Ben's travel blog (I just really wanted to get George Clooney's name in there..) I prefer the column..that could be due to the fact that I prefer newspapers or books over online reading.
Why?
I just like turning pages.

For the love of travel

I recently discovered Ben Groundwater. He makes my Sundays better.. why? I'm sure some of you know that my life at the moment consists of doing 'fuck all' (yes, sometimes strong words are a necessity)..therefor the Sunday paper is a life saver. And who writes a damn good travel blog, featuring a Sunday column, "something to declare", in The Sun-Herald? Mister Ben.
It's just the right amount of words to consume with your  Sunday breakfast..as when reading anything to do with travel, the side effects are nasty of course...it makes you want to get up and leave.Asap. So make sure you have an exquisite(think George Clooney in the Nespresso commercial..)cup of coffee to keep your behind grounded...

http://www.smh.com.au/travel/blog/the-backpacker

"Boy"

Being an Aussie you're not supposed to say this out loud, let alone post it on the Internet for the whole world to see(since I'm only half Aussie I figured I could get away with it..), so here goes.....I love the kiwi accent! Especially when spoken by a young Maori named "Boy" who loves Michael Jackson...

This is one of those movies you can watch over and over and it will still be funny. Not Will Ferrel funny (thank God), but proper feel-good-and-braking-your-heart-at-the-same-time-funny.

It's love. It's kiwi love. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RwqfR8g-Qow

The Joy of House Hunting

So yet again I discover that this house hunting business stops being exciting after the first two house inspections..
In my 25 year old/young (depending on who you're talking to) life I have for some reason made this disappointing discovery multiple times..I am once again fooled by my own excitement of living somewhere new.
Being somewhere new = fun
Exploring the area = fun..more fun if you have a bicycle..I don't = sore feet.
Going to house inspections = fun if it turns out it looks how you pictured it would (judging by realestate.com.au). If it's nothing like it = heart dropping to your knees disappointment
Going to multiple inspections over a period of 6 days = exhausting
Filling out application forms and realising you still don't look good on paper = provokes "what's-the-point-we're-never-going-to-get-this-one"-attitude

If only I could magically turn 35 with a good job and well presented rental history every time I go house hunting...(Obviously I would go straight back to 25, or maybe even 22 if possible, as soon as the papers are signed..I mean, if you're 35 with a good job, what are you doing still renting...duh..)

In BetWeen DreamS

It's 6 pm...I've got about 4 and bit hours left at Brussels airport..

It's $ 10 per hour for the internet so I decided to save such pleasures for later...it's now been about an hour since I got here and I've managed to get myself a nice table at a restaurant, with a view overlooking wet concrete and incoming air planes. Purchased a bottle of water, a can of Nestea (sparkling lemon..very refreshing), an apple and a bag of Lay's potato chips..they only had the natural flavour which was somewhat disappointing as I can't bring myself to understand what's so interesting about plain anything..especially plain potato chips. They came up with flavours for a reason Brussels airport people..

So now what...Options are as listed:

- walk around the airport for a bit. Probably should considering I'll be sitting down for the next 15 hours or so...but backpack is too heavy. According to the information board one should calculate at least 8 minutes to get to gates A..no idea if that's where I'm going, but if so that ought to be enough exercise.

- Continue reading “ Shantaram”. It's the book everyone seems to be reading at the moment, which is, like my dad pointed out, a very good reason not to be reading it. Well I am..and I like it. So far I haven't spotted any other copies at Brussels airport..and I don't intend to look for them either.

- I could open the bag of Lay's....but then I won't have anything to look forward to for the rest of the 4 hours I've got left. As much as I like to think I'm a slow eater that tiny little bag is not going to last very long once it's opened.

- Listen to my ipod. Don't feel like it just yet..

- Could go duty free shopping...don't really have the $$ and already too much to carry..and have to purchase half of Sydney duty free for certain boyfriend.

I've finished my Nestea...damn... That means need for toilet in about 2 minutes. Will have to wait, I've got a good spot here.

I'm opening the Lay's...

and logging on to post this …

You gotta love airports. No but seriously it could be a lot worse. I'm not too cold. I'm not too warm. I've got a good spot. I don't need to rush anywhere (except toilet soon).

And I've got a bag of Lay's... natural..but still. Can't have it all.

Private Practice..day 5

Sometimes I think how great it would be to be a doctor... to have the knowledge about what actually goes on inside you..none of this spending hours talking to girlfriends going through" well, I knew this girl and she found out...my mum always tells me....have you tried this new formula...you know, it could be...yeah, I'm seeing this new something something therapist.."
Two minutes ago my forehead started pulsing..why? Is that a sign to step away from the computer ? Or is it just my body on day 5 pointing out that " girl..you ain't well yet.."

I hate that..when you had an OK night, you think to yourself that you'll be all good tomorrow. Tomorrow comes..and nah..still sick.

Being sick is all about different stages..starts off by those small signs telling you that a few days in bed might be heading your way; sore throat, blocked nose, weak body..you hope that it's just one of those one day things, nothing a good nights sleep won't fix.
You wake up the next day realising going to the bathroom is going to be a mission. Cups of tea, stacks of tissues and more than you can handle daytime tv..Dr.Phil might have written a book about practically everything, but he is not going to make your day better.
Then you get to the stage when you're feeling a bit better..you start feeling restless. Being restless and having no energy is not a recommended combination.
This is were the tricky part hits..when you're somewhere in between sick and back to normal. You feel good enough to not be on the couch 24/7 but you can't get yourself to do anything useful..major dilemma. Are you well, but your mind is telling you that one more day of rest wont hurt...or are you really not well and your mind is trying to convince you that you're fit for fight ?

And why on earth does being sick make you so frickin emotional!??

å SaVne

I miss my man.
That's all I have to say tonight.

Oh, and I've listened to Angus & Julia Stone's "Bella" a dozen times..http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DlQo2m69BT8

The Little Things In Life

the necessity of PASTE

I was meaning to post the lyrics to Green Heaven by RHCP (yes, that's all I lisen to these days..it will change as soon as I discover something new to be excited about) BUT for some reason the paste thing on my blog doesn't work..:( It hasn't for some time now, I have no idea why and it's pissing me off, since I'm too lazy to retype lyrics...

But yeah, check out Green Heaven..released in -84 and sadly not much has changed.

handiCapped..

...due to loss of Internet connection...

As a result mind is working overtime. One would think that would result in a blog entry filled with clever thoughts and observations. Not really. I have limited time online, and transferring mess from head to keyboard takes time..mess needs to be sorted and put in some kind of order understandable to the world living outside my head.

All I want to do is get back to Anthony Kiedis facinating and at times beautifully fucked up life.

Oh and by the way... people should have more sex.

Amen.

That feeling

I get excited easily..about little things and big things.

I go through phases of being very excited about one particular thing...that one book, that one song, that one band, that one movie, that one show..and for a little while that occupies most of my thoughts.. it's my inspiration and makes me feel like I can do anything. These particular things excite me because they make me realise something new about the world, about people in general and myself...or it might just simply be beautiful and move me in some other way..

You know when you suddenly listen to a song you didn't know you were looking for or missing but when it starts playing you get tears in your eyes because you're so excited..that feeling.

Not jumping up and down excited..but like you're clapping your hands really fast in your head excited..For just a little moment you feel like the happiest person, and you feel like you're the only one that discovered what you just did..like you have been told a secret. Of course you are not the first person to be moved by this particular song, book, band, dance ruitine..but the feeling you get...that's yours. That feeling.

Right now I'm reading Scar Tissue...the one about Anthony Kiedes, Red Hot Chili Peppers. I was never really into their music..now I am.

And guess what...I'm very excited about it.

My sister =)

Just because she's lovely

Todays quote

And yesterdays...and all days to come for that matter

‎"Choosing one path means abandoning others - if you try to follow every possible path you will end up following none"

from my man, Mr. Coelho

That's been me for a long time..wanting to do everything and be everywhere..anywhere I'm not. Feeling stressed because there's so much to see and if I don't go now it will be too late. Even with todays technology, there is no possible way to be everywhere at once..thank God for that!
The frustration of not being able to choose a path led me..well, no where. Standing still, with a complete mess in my head. That's not what you want. Standing still gets you no where. That's definitely not what you want.

To stand still in a special moment is a gift. To stand still in life..well, that's fear.

New York, I love you

The movie...I just watched it.
An anthology film joining several love stories set in one of the most loved cities of the world, New York.

On the cover it looks like the typical romantic comedy, just with a bunch of well know names..but it's so not. Of course I knew this when I picked it, because I usually neve pick romantic comedies...(no, but seriously I actually did know that this was a different one)

I think I want to go to New York..I know I want to go to New York. Not today. Not tomorrow. But you know..before I turn 30. There is something about that city..it's like everything is just there, waiting for you to discover.

Every Moment...Love begins

Todays quote

"Sometimes you need to lose your old self to find yourself. But when you find yourself,
don't lose yourself again...."

Paulo Coelho

CAPS LOCK

Is that not one of the most annoying things EVER, when people write a whole sentence, or even worse; a whole paragraph, in CAPITAL LETTERS? I mean common guys…really? See how I highlighted the word ever in capital letters to make my point more clear, and I also use it when starting a new sentence…do not, I repeat DO NOT (see, I did it again..) write a whole facebook status, blog entry, wall post or text message in capital letters. Why? Do you really want the whole world to think you’re either A: extremely angry or B: jumping up and down in your chair with excitement sharing whatever you are sharing with the world and you want to make sure EVERYONE sees it?

I can tell you this much..not EVERYONE is going to read it. Not me. It’s annoying. Please stop.

Public Toilets

Dilemma:
when you find the toilet is not left clean by the last person…do you leave it (because it’s not your shit..) or do you make sure you leave it clean so the next person doesn’t think it’s yours…??

P.S. This is of course only a dilemma if there is someone waiting to use the toilet after you…

Houses and other scary things

Is it socially acceptable to be 25 and looking at photos of other peoples houses, weddings, babies thinking “thank God that’s not me..”??
Does that somehow offend the ones with the houses, weddings and babies? I mean it’s not bad things to have…and it’s on my list too, it’s just that it’s so far down the list that I haven’t gotten to that page yet..I need to flip a few pages first..I might even have to go back a few in case I missed something. I mean, what happens the day your kid wants to know the meaning of all the stuff on a certain page and you can’t answer because you haven’t read it…

I don’t own a house (or apartment, or any other shape/form you can live in)

I don’t own a car (or even I bicycle…the one I got when I was 12 and still exists somewhere does not count.)

I don’t make a lot of money

I don’t have a career (hence the not making a lot of money…)

I don’t have a dog - yes, I think it must be on the ‘check list’ for being a grown up
(By the way I stopped growing in primary school, so not sure what the definition of ‘grown up’ is..)

I don’t have enough clothes to fill a wardrobe (due to stupid 20kg limit on planes…)
But then again..how many do you know that can fit most of their belongings in one backpack..yup, just me. P.S. It doesn’t count if you’re a guy…meaning not scando guys..meaning..like..you know…..MEN.

I don’t have a holiday house (I guess that’s a given ..)

I don’t own any furniture (again, stupid 20 kg rule..)

BUT,
I do have the freedom to get on the next plane..
and one day in not too long I’ll get to that scary page in the book.
The one with the house and stuff…

Grown up? me?

You know you're not 18 anymore when waking up, having a cup of tea and reading the newspaper is something you're really looking forward to..

p.s. and you're actually reading the articles, not just looking at the photos..

MoODs oF Oslo.No

This was meant to be posted yesterday, but technology didn't agree with me..
What a beautiful day in Oslo! I went walkabout, pretending to be a tourist and photographer, had the best time wandering the streets all by myself.
Here's a taste of Oslo twenty10.

Oslo SnapShots

This is my city :) I had to leave multiple times to miss it, but it finally appears as.. pretty likeable, not a bad place to be at all ;) Note that these are my words in July. November would most definitely be a different story.

About Friends

I hate it when a good friend gets a girlfriend/boyfriend and suddenly kind of stops being your friend..

I hope I'm not like that. If I am please let me know.

PhotoEditing.CoM

I downloaded PhotoScape today... it's a whole new world..I've been playing around with it, trying to figure out what all the different things do to my photos. Don't be tricked though..I can feel it already, how pressing a few buttons (most used is the 'undo' one) can make you feel like the shit..like "wow, I thought my photos were ok, but look at them now!"
I'm a newbie, an amateur, a know nothing, a rookie in photography..
Photoshop is not how you get good, but it's a pretty awesome playground.

I'm going to get my dads old analogue camera, get a few books and go back in time.

And guess what..I reckon I could do alright

Simple Maths...

What do you do when 0.5 + 0.5 no longer equals 1?
And what if it never has and never will?
Can you live your life being 0.5? Or do you have to compromise and try to get yourself to at least 0.7?

And where and what is X?

Inventory control

Hung over today...it's 11pm an the head ace is still present, pounding on my for head. It's nothing like a good head ace to remind you how great the night before was..or in some cases how bad it was an so not worth the torturing pain you're left with today..
And no matter how many times you tell yourself that you're never going to drink that much again, you know it's a lie..oh how fast we forget the pain, and how hard it hits when we are reminded yet again.

Watched the last part of 'Revolutionary Road' today, with Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet. It's such a great movie, because it portraits what so many of us are so scared of - being just mediocre, giving up the dream..the fear of not living.

There's this quote, by Leonardo's character Frank, that stuck with me;

"Knowing what you've got, knowing what you need, knowing what you can live without
- that's inventory control."

Is that the key to it all? That's one lucky person who has those answers. The inventory control of myself could definitely be better.

todays quote

On one of my facebook browsing sessions I found this quote on a friends profile(an actual friend, not just "facebook friends"..by the way I hope I get to see him soon)

"I think there should be a class on drugs. It should be a class on sex education. A REAL sex education class. There should be a class on police brutality. There should be a class on apartheid. There should be a class on why people are hungry, but there's not. There are classes on...gym. You know what i mean? Physical education. Let's learn volleyball."
- Tupac

not to be said out loud...

but I just watched a whole episode of The Hills...

I've sinned before and it made me feel good..
I sinned tonight and I feel like shit.
Let's face it...it is crap
Too many OH MY GODs.
Too much of the crapness

I've sinned for the last time

P.S. It was so much better when Lauren was still there

I wanna be with you

The biggest fear of all...

Being alone

It's what makes us go that extra mile, try yet again, forgive just one last time, cry those tears over and over and keep holding on...standing up straight when all you want to do is hide, smiling when all you want to do is scream..

Because maybe, just maybe, it's all worth it. It might make you happy. Happiness is like playing keno and chess at the same time...it's about making a lot of wise choices, mixed with a little bit of luck. But then again maybe you don't need any games..maybe its all about just choosing to be happy. Or all of the above..who knows, some people are crap at keno but great at chess and vice-versa. I guess if you play chess you can practise, learn from your mistakes and think before you act..if you go with keno all you can do is get another beer and pray for the best..

The lost words

Just then I was sitting on my dads balcony, reading Vagabond (love it love it love it) and as usual my mind starts running wild with thoughts, dreams, wishes, questions..I believe it's called inspiration..
But now, in front of the computer, it's nowhere to be found..not the good words anyway, the words that where present only a few moments ago..where do they go? Does stage fright somehow apply to words? Was it something I did or didn't do?

If I could carry my laptop with me anywhere than maybe the words won't so easily dissapear..(technically I could carry my laptop everywhere, but it's just too much..I'm a little person, I need small things..)
I've started carrying a little note book (the old fassion one of paper, not an apple notebook)
with the hope that writing down thoughts as the decide to pop up would help. To a certain degree it does, it's just that the really good words still go missing..looking at my notes a few hours later, the magic is not there..it's out there somewhere, but it's nowhere on that piece of paper.

Solution? (without puchasing a very small apple notebook, and glasses to be able to read my own words on that very small apple botebook)
Practise..put the magical words on paper, not the fill in words..keep it short but informative..a few hours or even a day later I still have to be able to see the thoughts that are hidden behind those few key words

Seem easy? Yeah well it's not

the love for music

Byron Bay Bluesfest...
One word

Love

all over the place

ribs and soul searching

Nearly 4 months later...apparently I'm not too good at this updating everyone on my life thing.In my head I'm running an amazing blog but for some reason the computer screen usually remains blank. My mind sure spins enough to keep filling these pages and I know friends and family are happily surprised every time I finally put a few comforting words to the paper...and sadly enough instead of starting one of many promised emails I'm writing this...

In my 'about me' section I've got a single sentence.."I'm a restless soul, but not lost". Man was I wrong, I'm lost and I've been for quite some time.
I had proper ribs for the first time yesterday and even though I did like the taste it was a rather disturbing experience as it made us think of the cannibal in London years back.... the wannabe vegetarian in my was disgusted in every way possible. I woke up in the middle of the night sweating..I'm not sure if it was the ribs, but this morning I woke up feeling better than I have in months. Maybe I have finally excepted that yes I don't know what to do, what choice to make, can't tell north from south..I feel calmer. Nothing is solved,but its coming to me..:) So I'm staying put on my half way to 50 bum until things make sense again.

It's not all good, but the good always makes up for the bad. Good wins, always. If you don't believe that whats the point of anything really.