Want you to know, I'm a rainbow too...

Well it's still Friday night and I'm restless...I decided to not go out tonight and save some of that oh so needed money...the Top 40 summer concert is over, and MTV is playing some crazy Japanese rock/punk group...

I'm trying to keep myself occupied, reading Twilight, writing blog entries and cleaning the apartment..there's been a lot in the media lately about blogs, how it's the new hot thing to do..putting your life on the world wide web for everyone to read. Apparently it's a concern that some people spend too much time on their blog, it's becoming first priority and overshadowing everything else going on in their life.. I don't get that..in my opinion a blog is supposed to reflect what's going on in your life, but if your blog is you life, what do you write about...??

If I could get the sound working on my computer I would be listening to:
Afasi och Filthy feat. Snook: 1990 Nånting

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SNnVqTZP3Ig

Let's grow old together, and die at the same time...

I'm sitting here on a Friday night watching the Norwegian Top 40 summer show. Right now The White Lies are playing, hence today's blog title....good song :) It's poring down outside, so I'm quite happy being snuggled up inside by myself.

I've been high and low these last couple of days, without any real reason. Well no reason that's considered reasonable (by me...and others..) that is. It's always the ones you love the most that get to see the worst in you...why is that? Anyways, I blamed the rain, I blamed being tired, I blamed other people (shame on me), I blamed moving-and-leaving-everyone-nerves...and then watching the summer concert, I found myself smiling just from the music...and it hit me: a week ago my computer decided that surely I didn't need the sound working..no sound, no music, me not happy..no Spotify, no iTunes, no YouTube :( My head doesn't benefit from having only my own twisted thoughts and no music input. Problem solved, until next time..;)

Ooooo, Aha is playing now...back to the 80's :)

Today is one of those days I wish I was leaving tomorrow. Not because anything bad happened, just because yet I again I realised that no matter how hard I try, there are just some things I can't change. Maybe that's a good thing, I don't know.

I be up sometimes, down sometimes
We're often in between but mostly in the middle
You be up sometimes, your down sometimes
We're often in between but mostly in the middle
I'm up sometimes, your down sometimes
We're often in between but mostly in the middle
You're up sometimes, I'm down sometimes
We're often in between but mostly in the middle
We be up sometimes, we're down sometimes
We're often in between but mostly in the middle

John Butler Trio

Waiting for that feeling

..of relief and excitement. As of yesterday I (hopefully) have a bachelor degree in tourism and relationship management..handed in in the last big bachelor assignment, a copy is lying right here next to me, all pretty in black.

I'm not feeling it though...three years of studying (filled with so many fun times not studying) and countless written assignments..it's all over. No more. All done. Finito.

I just woke up from a two hour sleep on the couch, which always makes me feel slightly sick, so maybe not the best time to force excitement...the last big party is taking place tomorrow, so hopefully it will all hit me some time between the third and fourth beer ;)

What did get me excited today is that I picked up Eclipse, the third Twilight book - yaaaay!

And I have now listened to Robert Pattinson's (Edward Cullin) "never think", off the new moon soundtrack, countless times...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=un3xDuaHOpE

Unrealistic expectations in men...

..and I blame Twilight...seriously, how can you not want someone like Edward Cullin...vampire or not..I'm about to start the third book, Eclipse (if Alice would just hurry up finishing it..!) and I'm officially addicted. I haven't felt like this about a book in ages..I kind of stopped reading for years, and it's just recently that I've discovered what I've been missing. This whole other world to disappear into...and what a great world that is.

From the facebook group "Because I read Twilight I have unrealistic expectations in Men":

After reading the Twilight series you want your lover to...- Play piano

- Be able to protect you from oncoming traffic with only his fist

- Quote Romeo & Juliet to you ( not sure about this one..I mean I love Romeo and Juliet, but not sure if I really want my man to feel the same...I'm still all for men being men..)

- Only have eyes for you even when a hot waitress is throwing herself at him

- Not be embarrassed that he only dreams about you (if he could dream, that is)

- To not want to live in this world if you're not in it

- To write a lullaby for you

- To be able to read other people's minds to let you know what is coming

It's like being 12 again, just after watching Titanic for the first time... even when you're not reading (or watching the movie) you mind wanders off into this other world. 12 years later I can admit I cried for days after watching Jack Dawson (Leonardo DiCaprio) sink to the bottom of the ocean...Pathetic one might say, but what do you expect from a 12 year old little girl dreaming of soul mates and endless love..

Things do change though, you grow older and (hopefully)wiser and you start to settle for "endless love until next month"...but every now and then the little girl inside you reappears and makes you think..and hope..that one day ..a special someone will look you in the eye and tell you that there is no way he will want to live in a world without you..

And maybe even write you a lullaby.

Some might consider it a waste of time and emotions ( I mean common, if I'm not mistaken over 50 % of marriages end in divorce at some stage..), but as for now I'm holding on to the 12 year old in me who still looks at the world with hope that there is an Edward Cullen out there for everyone..

Sunday sessions

Sundays should be spent doing a little bit of something and a whole lot of nothing..and the whole lot of nothing should involve music, a good book, music, a comfy couch or on a perfect day a beach, music, good company (some days the best company you can get is yourself)..clearly music is a big part of any good Sunday. And like a friend of mine pointed out to me yesterday, Sunday is the day of the sun...



CATHOLIC WORLD, published in 1894:

"The church took the pagan philosophy and made it the buckler of faith against the heathen. She took the pagan Roman Pantheon, temple of all gods, and made it sacred to all the martyrs; so it stands to this day. She took the pagan Sunday and made it the Christian Sunday. She took the pagan Easter and made it the feast we celebrate during this season..........."The sun was a foremost god with heathendom..............There is, in truth, something royal, kingly, about the sun, making it a fit emblem of JESUS, the Sun of justice. Hence the church in these countries would seem to have said, 'Keep that old pagan name. It shall remain consecrated, sanctified.' And thus the pagan Sunday, dedicated to Balder [the god of light and peace], became the Christian Sunday, sacred to JESUS.---Vol. 58, # 348, March 1894, p.809.

That might have to be my something for the day...

Last night at work this song of Minor Majority came on, a Norwegian band I haven't listened to for ages..made me smile, although their music is kind of melancholic. Great band. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n-CKC5w8Q1A

Happy Sunday :) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SGeD3WsFtc0&feature=related

Reality Check

Well it was bound to happen...the feeling of "shit this might not be that easy"...Earth calling Camilla..duut duuut duuut..."the person you are calling can not be reached. please try again later"....

Tonight I was watching the Bachelor (man, I could never do what those women do...) and it hit me: in about two months I will be standing at Kingsford Smith airport with my backpack (and hopefully a suitcase) all by myself.. yeah, I know I have friends there, I know I'm not the first one going solo, but still...that by myself part is kind of scary. In the end, no matter if you're married and have 1o kids..you are still alone, still just you. I don't mean that in a depressing way, it's just the way it is..and I think that's the most human feeling of all, the fear of being alone. I think that no matter how independent, strong and brave we try to be...we all want to be a part of "us" ...me and myself is vulnerable. Sooo...I've come to terms with the fact that I might be standing there scared shit less, and that's OK.

Another thing that suddenly became clear...I pictured saying goodbye to the people I love. Even though it's not forever..it's goodbye for now..I'm usually pretty good at goodbyes, mainly because I know I'll be seeing them in a few months. You better all get plane tickets to oz asap ;)

So today I'm:

Happy

Scared

Sad

Oh by the way, I finally discovered the wonder of Spotify :)

Playing now: No One's Gonna Love You - Band of Horses

Next: Just for now - Imogen Heap