Well it was bound to happen...the feeling of "shit this might not be that easy"...Earth calling Camilla..duut duuut duuut..."the person you are calling can not be reached. please try again later"....
Tonight I was watching the Bachelor (man, I could never do what those women do...) and it hit me: in about two months I will be standing at Kingsford Smith airport with my backpack (and hopefully a suitcase) all by myself.. yeah, I know I have friends there, I know I'm not the first one going solo, but still...that by myself part is kind of scary. In the end, no matter if you're married and have 1o kids..you are still alone, still just you. I don't mean that in a depressing way, it's just the way it is..and I think that's the most human feeling of all, the fear of being alone. I think that no matter how independent, strong and brave we try to be...we all want to be a part of "us" ...me and myself is vulnerable. Sooo...I've come to terms with the fact that I might be standing there scared shit less, and that's OK.
Another thing that suddenly became clear...I pictured saying goodbye to the people I love. Even though it's not forever..it's goodbye for now..I'm usually pretty good at goodbyes, mainly because I know I'll be seeing them in a few months. You better all get plane tickets to oz asap ;)
So today I'm:
Happy
Scared
Sad
Oh by the way, I finally discovered the wonder of Spotify :)
Playing now: No One's Gonna Love You - Band of Horses
Next: Just for now - Imogen Heap
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