It happens every second of every day..in every little hidden corner, however dark it may be. Sunrise, sunset and every moment in between. The BB (Byron Bay) motions. Or emotions if you will. If you spend more than a few weeks here you will know. Life will be in your face. Life being this schizophrenic creature that one day appears mesmerizingly beautiful, full of joy and the next day dark and lonely, getting on your every nerve and giving you doubts.
If you thought you were on top of things and that your shit was sorted then Mr Life is here to tell you otherwise...
See, life has all these roundabouts..you get to them and Life is there on either side (told you ....schizo..) holding up a poster with some issue that you’re meant to face but obviously haven’t yet. Sometimes it will be written out in bold letter so you can’t miss it. Next time it might be i small neat cursive letters so you have to get really close to read it. Scary shit. It makes it so easy to close your eyes, take a deep breath, holding it (funny how we feel more invisible when holding our breath, like if you don’t breathe you’re not there..) and walking really fast straight through the roundabout... you know if you look back Life will be looking at you with this look on his face saying “ I’ll just be waiting here then, until you’re ready..”
So best not to look back, just keep walking...which by the way won’t take you very far, as you are obviously stuck in this green(if you’re lucky) roundabout island. Sure you can make the little island pretty, plant some trees, flowers even, water it every now and again. But no matter how beautiful you make it you’re still kind of stuck. Stuck on emotional stand by.And every time you take a step outside Life is there, in your face, saying “ yeah mate, still here..” and you stand there, shoulders high, fists clenched, stamping your foot thinking “dammit!”.
It’s not all roundabouts though, Life likes to mix it up a bit, sometimes you’ll find him at intersections. They can be stressful. You get there and the light is green but you don’t know how long it’s been green for. How long do you have to make up your mind as to wether to go left, right or straight? What if it turns red half way through, does that mean you made the wrong choice, should you wait for the next set of greens? And what on earth does orange mean...sit back and chill or get your but moving? Life will of course be there, smack bang in the middle, hands on hips going “ you have no idea where you’re going do ya..?” Yet again you find yourself stamping your foot going “dammit!”. And yet again Life looks at you as if to say “well we both know that if you start sprinting down the wrong road we will be having words again..”
Although, this is where I will outsmart Life with my wannabe Paulo Coelho quotes saying something in the lines of “ no road is wrong if it makes you say hello, goodbye and I love you”. Eat that.
If there’s something you need to face in BB it’s Hello’s, Goodbyes and I love you’s. Not the fairytale-hollywood-movie-roses-and-the-whole-shebang I love you, but the more subtle kind. It flows around, embracing you when you need it, even though you might not know it. It fills your bathtub, makes it all nice and warm, bubbles if you’re lucky...and then it pulls the plug just as you got comfortable. That’s when you take a hard, angry and hurt look at Life and say “ what the hell was that all about?!” Life just looks at you.....and you have a good long think (depending on how many roundabouts and intersections you have been through this little think could take anything from a few hours up to months. If you are still stuck on your first little pretty island...you might want to make a move) and the you finally go “Aaaahh....now I get it”.
BB is the meeting place..people meet, emotions meet, some special, some not so special,some stay, some go..but how they made you feel will change a little part of who you are forever. And hopefully lead you through another few roundabouts. Keep moving, keep loving.
Mister Life will always be there..full of wonderful truths and deceiving lies, leaving it up to you to tell the difference. Teaching you that for every time you say hello you are risking having to say goodbye. More times than not that’s a risk worth taking.
